Bo-No

As the whole world now knows.. at least those in a 200mile radius of Nashville, U2 is coming to Nashville. I am not going to lie (for once), and I will probably be given an extremely hard time about this, but I am not a ginormous fan of U2. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like them and all, but you are more likely to see me spending my efforts stalking Dolly, not Bono.

OH.. and let's chat about Bono. I cannot even tell you how many people have asked me if I really sat next to him on my flight. Come on people. It's one thing when my dad asked me.. "Did you sit next to Bo-No?" But it's another thing when my friends have been asking, and many of them are aware I have a pathological lying issue. A few don't know about my embellishing the truth problem, so they are off the hook. But the rest of you... come on.. your gullibleness is what drives me to lie. So.. to set the record straight: No. No, I did not sit next to Bo-No. I was just elaborating my story, I did sit next to a guy who thought he was Bono and he really was going to Cambodia. I am not sure, but I am going to take a guess that Mr. Bo-No does not fly Southwest coach.

In other related news, my mom and I had this conversation today:
Mary: Now, who is this U2 band your sister wants to see?
Me: Just the BIGGEST BAND IN THE WORLD.
Mary: Oh, well I have never heard of them.
Me: Maybe they will put them on the CMT countdown so you can see them.
Mary: Oh, are they country?
Me: No, mom. Mom, I love you.
Mary: What does that mean?
Me: Means I love that you don't know who U2 is. Oh, you know how dad was asking me if I sat next to Bono on the plane home. Bono is the lead singer of the band U2
Mary: I don't know who that is.
Me: I know.

The Update

I know you want to know how the rest of my traveling day went. Here it is in bullet points.

• Flight in San Jose was delayed an hour. Doesn't seem like much. But it is forever when you are so very tired.
• The flight was delayed because the previous plane had been struck by lightening.
• I board the plane and Bono sits next to me. He is headed to Cambodia just for fun.
• I read Catching Fire, the second in the series of Hunger Games. I love these books, I won't even try to explain what they are about. Okay.. here is me trying: If you like the idea of kids being thrown into an arena to kill each other off you should totally read these. Don't judge the description, I mean, really who would have thought a love story between a vampire, a girl and a werewolf would be so amazing.
• We land. There are a million emergency crews on the ground when we land. I am talking fire trucks, ambulances, police, priests. Okay, maybe not any priests.
  
• The flight attendant lands and says, "Yes, those emergency crews were for for us. Our cock pit lost all power and they were basically landing in the dark with no controls."
  
• WAIT. WHAT?
• WE WERE SUPPOSED TO DIE
• We didn't die. Or even skid a little.
  
• The captain, who had also been the one struck by lightening, landed with no technical instruments.
• I don't really know what you need to land a plane, but I guess controls are a good thing.
• That captain is my hero.
  
• I was really glad I was not on that crews airplane for the next leg of my trip.
  
• LAX is the scariest and busiest airport I have ever been to.
  
• And it's gross.
  
• I hope to never go back to LAX
• That flight was delayed an hour.
• I ate gross McDonalds at a gross airport
• Finally boarded the plane where the girl next to me added numbers up on a tiny sheet of paper the entire 4 hours.
  
• I have no idea what she was doing.
• She told me she was an actress at the end of the flight.
  
• I am still trying to figure out what in the heck she could have been doing.
• She is obviously a genius. Or Rainman.
  
• I read Catching Fire. A teen book the entire trip. I am not a genius. Or Rainman.
• I got a huge hug from my boys when I finally saw them.
  
• We all cuddled on the couch and watched baseball last night.
• I am happy to be home.
  

No Room At The End

Let me catch you up a bit:
I came out here to California last Saturday for work - to video the Tenth Avenue North guys and Matt Maher. As work trips go, it was successful, I got what I came for, and that is half the battle. I traveled from San Jose to Monterey to Big Sur to Monterey to Fresno back here to San Jose. I arrived back in San Jose last night...or early this morning, depending on how you look at it, at 3am. As we (we being me and the other girl from work I was traveling with), as we arrive at the hotel we had booked she looked at me and goes, "did we ask for a late check-in" I did not actually book the hotel as when booking with work someone else does that for me. So I had no idea, but I doubted it. We think "ehh.. doesn't matter."

It mattered.

The hotel was booked. As was every hotel in the area because of some conference here in town. The hotel had given away our room when we had not arrived by midnight. So here we sat, 3am, two very tired girls, with no where to go. My co-worker was already planning on meeting up with family today, so I told her to just to drop me off at the airport as my flight was in 7 hours and what's being a little early. And really, who needs sleep, not this 34 yr old. I'm still pretending I can pull of the all nighters (shhh.. don't tell my body, but I don't actually think I can pull this off, but I am tricking it. PS, I was never good at pulling off the all nighters when I was 20).


People.. the airport is still closed at 4am. Well, you can sit in the front lobby portion. So that's what I did. Sat there. By myself. Tweeting, emailing and facebooking all by my lonesome. Well there was another man, I am pretty sure he was homeless and had just wandered in for a comfortable chair to sit in. And perhaps to plug up his iphone.


So here I sit now.. it's 8:30am here. Highlights of my morning thus far: A delish bagel and a refreshing coca-cola. Changing and brushing my teeth in the bathroom in order to feel semi-human. The highlight: A stranger, who introduced himself as Bob, asked me to watch his bags and laptop as he ran to the bathroom.

Uh.. wha...wait.. Mr. Bob, pretty sure that announcement just told me not to do this.

He assures me he is not a terrorist. OH. OK. As long as you say so. Bet all the terrorists say that. While he went to the bathroom I squatted by his bag to make sure it wasn't ticking. It wasn't. He must not have been lying. WHEW.

He comes back. I continue to pretend I am reading but really my eyes are closed and my head is starting to do the bobbing thing. Mr. Bob the terrorist wakes me from resting my eyes to ask me if I want a Starbucks. I did think I was in a dream when he asked me. Because, well let's be honest, it is a dream of mine for a strange man to offer to buy me coffee. I sweetly decline and flash my wedding ring. OH wait, he wasn't hitting on me.. guess again that was just part of the dream. (sidenote: this man was not nearly as hot as my husband and he was old... you know, like 40, SO OLD. And I did not really think he was hitting on me, I just added that to the story for spice. But now I am worried you think I wanted this terrorist to hit on me. I did not. But I did want him to buy me a starbucks, but I said no, that was the polite thing to do.. right? Plus, Big Papa PLG will be buying me a Starbucks a bit later in the morning).

Bob wants me to watch his bags so he can get his caffeine. Okay Mr. Terrorist, I will watch your bags again. But suddenly I feel like he secretly works for the airport security and I am pretty sure I am going to get detained for not listening to the rules. I just know Secret Service are about to jump out at any time. Do they do that if you are stupid enough to not listen to their warnings? Are those just strong suggestions or is that like a real law? Either way, no men in black jump out. I fall back to sleep. Mr. Bob the terrorist comes back. I then decide he needs to feel uncomfortable and I ask him to watch my items so I can go pee. He accepts. I said he should ignore the ticking from my bag if he were to happen to put his ear up to it. I didn't look to see if he laughed or if he ran to get security.

I am back now. Trying to keep myself awake as more people have arrived at the gate, and I am sure they do not want me to drool and snore for them this fine California morning.


Instead I will fill my mind with the excitement of seeing my boys in a short time. I miss them as much as I would miss my left arm if you were to cut it off or even just tie it behind my back.

I am left handed.



Luckily, I brought a hard drive of pictures of family that I need to post at some point. Perhaps I will get that done this morning. Or perhaps I will go get that coffee. CRAP! Bob the terrorists is gone, guess I will have to take my bags with me and be all law abiding.

I also hope this post is coherant. Because I am not really going to proof read. Of course, let's be honest.. it cannot be worse than any of my other posts. I ain't so good with the grammar stuff.

**update**
Just got this text from Southwest:
SWA Flight 1445 from SJC is delayed. The new departure time is 10:35am.

I mean really. REALLY.

Bob must have told someone the plane didn't have a phalange.

Warning signs are overrated.

L-I-am: Target

You know how when you are in a store sometimes you keep bumping into the same people just because your flow of shopping coincides with their flow? Though Lord knows I rarely have a flow, I like to get my exercise when in a store and remember something I need way on the other side after I had already been on that side. And inevitably, L never has to pee until we are way back in the toy section and I have to convince him to come with me way back to the front to pee, and in order to not ruin his experience I promise to bring him all the way back to the toy section. Doing all of this in one of those ridiculously impossible to maneuver child friendly carts that your child refuses to sit in.

All this to say, I have no flow. And neither did the random man in Target the other day because we kept running into him in the aisles. I mean this quite literally as L was running a good 20ft in front of me at all times yelling GREEN LIGHT! RED LIGHT!

No, I don't think the man was stalking us. I think he was following his wife who had no flow either. Basically this man was Pol in 30 years.

Older Man: "Your son has not stopped talking since you entered the store"
Me: "No, no he hasn't. thankyouverymuch."
Older Man: "That means he's going to be smart."
Me: "We are aiming for average, but thankyouverymuch."